You had a routine, feeding became less painful and you managed to shower at least twice a week. Then, you hit the 4 month-ish mark and things started going wonky. Sound familiar?
Don’t panic, you’re not going crazy and you haven’t lost your knack at this mum thing. You’ve just hit the first of (whisper it) “quite a few” baby sleep regressions.
How does baby sleep work?
Babies need sleep.
This shouldn’t come as a massive surprise – we all need sleep.
Here’s a really useful chart from the Sleep Foundation that shows how much sleep babies and children should aim for every night to function properly.
You can see babies need a whole lot more sleep than a school-aged child. In fact babies need 17 hours, a whopping 6 hours more than children from 6 – 13 years old.
So, why do babies need so much of it?
Well, the thing is, babies are doing a lot more of the stuff our bodies need sleep for, and this is why we need to think about their healthy sleep habits:
- Growth: babies grow at an alarming rate – that’s why they only seem to be in those cute rompers for 5 minutes! A study at the University of Atlanta discovered that growth hormmones are produced in the deeper phases of sleep, therefore your baby needs deep sleep to grow.
- Brain development: the sheer speed at which your baby is acquiring knowledge should astound you. And in order to consolidate all that learning, they need to sleep. During the REM cycle of sleep, your baby’s brain encodes memories. Basically, more learning equals more sleep.
But, as you’ll be aware, this massive amount of sleep (which sounds so appealing to your sleep-deprived parental brain) doesn’t all happen in one block. With such a small stomach, and so much growing being done your baby wouldn’t make it through 14 hours without needing food! This is why babies need naps, and why we often find ourselves dealing with frequent night waking in the early days.
Sleep regressions, however, are a different ballgame. Let’s tackle that next.
What is a sleep regression?
A sleep regression is a particular point in a child’s development when their usual sleep pattern is affected by something else going on in their bodies.
Suddenly your child will have trouble settling down to sleep, or wake more frequently than usual.
There are common ages for this to kick in, and it often happens just when you feel you’ve finally reached a routine with your baby. Nature doesn’t like to keep us settled for long!
To be fair to your baby (and to nature) there is a reason behind this example of “Sods Law”. There are several reasons for a sleep regression, including:
- A new developmental milestone (such as learning to stand up, roll over, or crawl)
- A growth spurt (so that your baby wakes up to be fed more frequently)
- A change in routine (a new bed, starting daycare, or travelling)
- Teething (the bane of every parent’s life!)
- A new stage of understanding (separation anxiety or night terrors can be a sign of this)
When do sleep regressions usually happen?
You can find a breakdown of the usual sleep regressions here. However, usually the main sleep regressions in your baby’s life happen at:
3-4 months
This is when teething, growth spurts, and the brain explosion that goes with learning to roll over combine.
6 months
Another growth spurt is to blame here. But, as your baby is technically able to sleep through the night at this age, I would usually advocate trying to maximize their calories during the day to help.
8-10 months
This is around when your baby will begin to crawl (although not all babies do this, and some go straight to walking), and then learn to stand. You might come in to an unsettled baby standing in her cot, because she hasn’t figured out how to sit down again!
12 months
Another big milestone happens around this time – walking. Those first few steps are a big leap for your baby’s brain, and can really mess up sleep.
18 months and 24 months
These later sleep regressions are generally down to separation anxiety, night terrors, and toddler teething.
It’s worth remembering, again, that all babies are different. Sleep regressions can occur outside of these times as well, due to disruptions in your routine, or illnesses.
What are the signs of a sleep regression?
If you’re reading this, then you probably have an inkling that you might be heading for a sleep regression. While every child is different, there are some common signs that you can keep an eye out for.
- Suddenly not wanting to nap: has your marathon napper suddenly decided daytime sleep is for wimps?
- Being fussier: does he want mummy/boob/favourite pacifier all. the. time?
- Trouble falling asleep at night: are you finding yourself pacing the nursery for even longer singing nursery rhymes?
- Waking more frequently during the night: are you seeing 2am more frequently than when you were a college student?
If you have a good idea of your child’s normal patterns of sleep and behaviour, then it can be quite easy to spot things going awry. There is also a whole range of child development apps out there that can flag up sleep regression and development windows. The Wonder Weeks is a great one to try.
So, now you’ve worked out what’s going on, what can you do to overcome it?
Can I prevent sleep regressions?
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you unfortunately you can’t. Think of it more as riding a wave or a storm, before coming back to a calm ocean.
As you’ve seen sleep regressions are the result of specific and necessary developmental stages. You need your baby to learn how to roll over, walk, stand, bring a spoon to their own mouth, and be okay with you going out for an hour. And with that important learning comes the need for the brain to consolidate. And with that comes sleep battles.
Sorry.
On a more cheery note, you can however manage sleep regressions. So, let’s talk more about that…
How do I manage sleep regressions?
Ok, so if you can’t prevent a sleep regression, then how do you manage them?
Excellent question.
The first thing to remember is that these little periods of messed up sleep are not forever. You will not be dealing with an overtired baby forever. They will pass. You will fall asleep at 10pm and wake up refreshed at 6am again. It just might not happen for a small period of time.
So here are my tips to help you come out the other side as fresh as possible.
Try to think of it as a sleep progression, not a regression
I know it’s hard to think positively when you’re exhausted. But sometimes re-framing the experience can help. These sleep changes are because your baby is growing, developing – moving forward. Think of all the cool things they are learning to do, and how you are helping them. And then pour yourself a cup of coffee! Independent sleeping skills don’t happen overnight.
Pace yourself
Being realistic about what you can manage in a day is key to survival at this point. If you’ve had 2 hours of sleep then making it to 3 baby classes and painting the kitchen is not sensible. Try to get outside at least once – fresh air and vitamin D are excellent for your mood and energy levels. But a quiet day at home is perfectly fine. As is leaving the pile of washing until later so you can doze when your baby finally does. Take a deep breath and remember this is only one day.
Fill them up
As many of these little sleep regressions involve growth spurts, making sure you maximize your baby’s calorie intake during the day can really help reduce night wakings. Whether you’re bottle or breastfeeding, you might need to offer milk more than usual. Your little one needs this nutrition to get through the supercharged growth going on.
Limit the changes
One change at a time, especially as your child gets older. Moving them to a big bed, and starting daycare in the same week is asking for trouble. Keeping routines and environments as stable as possible during a sleep regression can help both you and your baby feel more secure and settled. A consistent bedtime routine can really help the whole family.
Practice in the daytime
Giving your baby enough time during the day to practice their new skills can reduce their need to spend the night rolling over or trying to stand in their cot. Plan out time during daylight hours to encourage rolling over, or whatever particular developmental stage your baby is reaching for. This has the added benefit of tiring them out a bit more ready for bed. Make sure to have a bit of calmer time reading or bathing before bed.
Go with the flow
Stable bedtime routines are an invaluable tool for helping your baby feel secure, and you feel sane. But, if your night has been full of sleep disruptions, or naps just aren’t happening as normal, then for this transition point do what works. Wrap your baby in a sling, or put them in the pram and go for a walk. Drive around the block. Play Oasis loudly whilst bouncing on a birthing ball (if yours is still around!). These are not long term solutions. But, just as we occasionally fall asleep on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon if we’ve had a terrible night’s sleep, sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
Ask for help
It takes a village. And, now that we generally don’t have an actual village around us to hand the baby over to immediately when we’re dealing with sleep challenges, we need to create our own. If you have Mum or Mother-in-Law around then give them the baby to coo over for a while so you can take a nap, shower, or play with your older children. Ask friends to help with specific things, like delivering meals, taking away washing, or just leaving chocolate on the doorstep.
Or, if you’re a little more isolated, find a drop-in baby group where you can turn up, have coffee, and talk to someone who understands. They can even give you some good sleep tips to combat the particularly tough 4-month sleep regression and 6-month sleep regresson. You can often find a list of sessions nearby online.
When should I get help?
Sometimes the odd bit of help might not be enough and you need expert advice to build a sleep routine, and deal with your overtired baby. This is why I have developed a range of services to support you even more during tricky times. I would love to talk to you about sleep training methods and a sleep routine. If you’re new to the idea of a night nanny or newborn care specialist then you can find out how a night nanny can help with your specific needs:
- by reading this article here
- scheduling a call with me to find out how my 1:1 support can give you some respite
- or if a one-to-one service isn’t for you, then my online baby sleep classes can also give invaluable adhoc advice and support as and when you need it
I’m here for you, and want you know that you’re doing brilliantly. I promise!
